jaws_blake

I have had this fear of success for a long time. When everyone is watching me do well in my art I get nervous. All the little mistakes I make to figure out things are on display. Funny thing is no one care about those things but me. It’s very silly, it’s all in my head.

I’m working on just making and not stopping to look around. I was better before I thought about all those things. Even if everyone notices and it’s not in my head, it shouldn’t really matter. I do it for the love of doing it first, and the success comes after.

A very long time ago I was in a mall. Many years before COVID we went to malls. I haven’t been to one in forever. Being around lots of people gives me small panic attacks some times. I’m working on it. So at this mall, I see this older handsome big bearded Sikh man and we are both waiting for our wives trying on clothes. We just chatted up and it was just really pleasant. Two brown men joking about bullshit. Very nice day.

For those who are not aware of Sikh people.

My cousin (primo) is a huge basketball fan all my life. Most of the men in my family are about a foot taller then me. He could dunk at 13. I am yet to even touch the rim at 5’10. He used to put me on his shoulders and jump at the rim. It was so much fun at age 13. I remember it greatly. It was simple but sticks with me too this day.