Who and what am I running toward with my art now? I don’t know if I’m going to be infamous museums but I have hope. I had this fear by talking about my nomination I was jinking myself. But I don’t know I believe in jinking.
Makes me what to fight the sky.
Gotta work harder and past even remembering any of it. Because the art is more improtant then the rest stops.
We now have two kittens to add to our family of Alec, Mon the dog and me.
The two baby cats are not yet friends. Time will fix that.
Mon loves everyone. Mochi and Miles are at war.
Mochi loves Mon.
In the myst of all these things i have been painting but not close to as much as I would love to. So I have to find my focus again and be the best I can.
Truth be told, I’m running on empty. I found so much in making sure everyone is ok that I stopped “mind painting.” I have spent so much of my time making a gallery of unmade paintings inside my head most of my life and now ..little bits jump out. Maybe my style wants to evolve again? I don’t know how it will or could but it is a beast that does whatever it wants. My big hope is to reach my madness again before I crack.
It’s so easy with everything up in the air to forget to be kind. Not in a you have no manners but in a go out of your way to do something nice for yourself and other people. some times the journey is to just get to kind moments. It’s the journey not the destination to focus on. You will get there when you get there.
My feeling on style is “it will come to you when you are no longer looking for it.” I remember running around like a headless chicken trying to be like everyone elese I thought had the best styles. They were this gold moon hanging high above me and then one cocky afternoon I saw the trickery in their style. How the had mastered drawing their own face in both genders or how the have let them selves daydream in their work. My life changed a few years later when I learned to love how I made things. How I practiced none stop only to see how I dropped my hand in a curve and used my shoulder was the right way to do it. How I needed to go bigger to balance my mind with my hands.
I hope that helps.
I get a lot of color questions too.
“How did you come across your color theory ? ” Is a frequently asked question. I read a lot of books on color honestly in college and then reread them out of college on my own at the beach in a very depressed state and it pinged inmy mind. If you swint; looking into the sun you see tons of colors… all the colors. Let that be your guide. Also walk away from art soem times and start soemthing new for a few months or if needed years and then come back to it. You will see something amazing in your work. Time can be a bandaid for self doubt.
Last tip; numbness can be the beginning to work you love. You will not wake up everyday and feel inspired. YOu might even makea bit of work and at the end feel nothing. It’s more normal then you think. Inspiration is not an infinite coffee cup. It needs time to fill it self back up and it doesn’t fill back up while ou watch it being emty.
I got asked by one of my best friends “what made you change your style a few years back from Luchadoras to surreal forms?” The hoest answer how so many reasons. Some I’m still figuring out.
No place public to hang them
people love them but are nervous about having nude paintings.
I got bored not painting faces detailed.
a critic hurt my feelings.
a lot of critics hurt my feelings.
I didn’t expect it to last forever doing the same thing over and over again.
I wanted to change.
It’s so strange to recognize in my sleepy mind why things happened. But I guess that is how looking backwards works? You see past the hurt and the bullshit at some point and that raft floating in the bathtub is truth.
I don’t know as my star rises that I will follow any rules of respectability. I feel like I will make a space to do what ever I want and the show what ever I come up with. I’ll put out books and paintings and paint walls of things I have never come across in my mind until then. I hope you will still be arond in that journey.
the sleeping world happens at all hours.
A link to pick up some of my prints, paintings, and other merchandise.