Tag: surreal

I am a space rock

jawara318Leave a comment

I wash in the middle of thinking about this day and I got sidelined. That happens some times. I get in the groove and then something reminds me of my Marley and I’m taken back. I don’t know that I’m ever going to be … great. I don’t know that I really want to be. Alec is so wonderful and she sees me drift and helps me when I come back. I have this way with me that wants to be here but is traveling through my timeline. That pain is my own personal magnet. It is a planet and I am a space rock. I’m working on living better in the now than being lost in my time.

 

I’m proud of this one. I feel like I’m getting so much better each time. Also all most at 100 subs. Please subscribe if you enjoy my videos. When I reach 100 I get my own personal web address rather than that long generic one they give.

later

Jaws

 

 

All the brush strokes are worlds

jawara318Leave a comment

My demons are big. They are faceless and yet look like me every time I look in my dirty mirror. They have made me a hell of a fighter. I remember being a kid and not knowing how I felt about sadness and anger. I remember they just came on one day. It had nothing to do with the people who were around me over even the place I was in. I was the prisoner on Avalon and no one would ever be able to see.  It was a labyrinth and I learned to paint sunshine and flowers on the walls and make it my home.  I learned to be happy and calm without depending on others. Learning how to be creative without the sadness was the hardest part. The pain was my drive and when it lessened I felt like a fraud for a bit. I don’t know how I changed out of those robes. Nakedness is a good word. It was the definition of how I felt until I grew to love my nakedness. So raw and so tender like a 20-year sunburn.  I stopped being Jae Jae and let myself be Jawara. I grew my hair out again and let myself be who I felt like on the inside, a new outside. The journey of a painter guys is not an easy road. it never really gets to be an easy road. But it is so deep and empowering once you hit the ground and make your mark.

Painter files: Fireflies on the moon

jawara3182 Comments

We all want to be an indie song. We want to be a secret favorite of everyone that no one knows is really popular. That is my nature. To make these huge statements with ink and paint and not give deep long answers to what they mean at all and just let you think about them and make up your own narrative but I would love to secretly read chat room arguments on what it means to you conflicting to the screen name across the world. I daydream about the day when I’m so busy someone sees me on the street and goes “wait is that , that guy who did that painting?”  I want to be the atom in the scarlet. I didn’t come up with that I heard it in a song from a movie but it stuck with me and my mind ran with it. That is what I want to be with paint. A song in your head.

So much making

jawara318Leave a comment

I’m at this point where the pain is huge but I want to paint more then I want to rest and rub painkiller cream on the fun bits.

This rocking chair is like a base drum. As the beat hits, I am dancing in my blinks Light bulbs are the rhythm as I move in this motion to the cahone.

 

El pintor is greater than stupidity.

jawara318Leave a comment

I feel like this is where my heart took me. That is felt the yellow ink in the paper and let it dance in the fibers. It was a freedom dance. I know the roads we walk as painters are long but in the soberness, they are also completely freeing. We are so much more than the brooding. It is a big part of it, don’t get me wrong but not the main part of it.

I realized that I shine because the people around me are so bright. I like to think we are each other’s lifelines. We have to be there for each other. Just know I have your back and hopefully you have mine.

 

All the makings

jawara318Leave a comment

I make because I love. lol Sounds like pooping.

 

Inktober

jawara318Leave a comment

Inktober is a game we illustrators play in the month of October. 30 days of ink illustrations.

My first illustration I have chosen to do is, El Santos. He reminds me of my Grandma. We used to watch wrestling together as a kid. She would yell and scream and throw things at the tv. It still lives in my mind as a great past time.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Deeper in the inks video

jawara318Leave a comment

 

Ela e’ poderosa (she is strong)

jawara318Leave a comment

It’s hard to not be effected by the news. I’m a 34 year old black man. I am deeply effected by the effects of my people dying everyday via police. You may have your feelings about it and you are welcome to have a calm chat with me in the comments if you want. I painted this for all the mother’s out there who are trying to be strong in the face of a very wild and unsure world.

Art is about giving so many fucks you have to make it into a new thing just to get it out of you and the world sees it raw like a nerve.

Painter out

Always making

jawara318Leave a comment