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Painter Files – New Year and new plan
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Always making
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I died once. It was cold and dark like a pickle jar in the back of a refrigerator. I was living in an old apartment that leched mold from the walls. Sickness grabbed me and wrapped around my heart. Confusion took over my mind. All I had was the paint and a radio to click on and out of the world. I lived alone waiting for my 1000th painting. Death and I had made a pact for inspiration. The matches lived in my fingers to create fire on the stove. A million teapots screamed at 3 in the morning every day. One night my pilot light went out as I slept with the window open and I ran face to face, lips to teeth, hip to hip with Death. I am not much of a person for fear but it took me deep in its arms. We looked at each other in the dark that night as I coughed up half my life at its feet. I pushed the fear off my spin and crawled to the stove as it clicked and turned it off opening all the windows in 20-degree winter wrapped in a blanket and vomited. A few hours later I woke up closed the window turned the shut off behind the stove. It was an insane time.
Never die of hardwood floor for a minute it fucks with your taste buds.
This is such an amazing beginng already. I hope you all had a safe and fun New Years.
Please check out my Patreon. Jawara Blake Patreon
I love you all and you inspire me to keep making in my own style and that means the world to me.
I don’t know sometimes, how I found my path. It was always mine, I guess. No one gave it to me. I didn’t take it and yet it was maybe my birthright? That word feels weird to me. I have never felt that anything was really mine until my 30’s. The world is the owner and we are but mere space holders in service to it.
This art book will be grand. I will make and grow deep in the pages and I want each every one of you to feel the strokes and trace the lines with your eyes. I do this in service to you and my self because we live these hard lives for something warm on the inside.
a million dots. I want to get a tattoo gun so I can make one million dots on a face in every painting. I want universes around eyes. To work huge is the occupation of the galaxy of details. No one hand makes without deep lacunas of agony in your bones. The silly bits are that the pain is a trophy of all the beauty you give to the art. To be a doner of such bloom is an honor and a gift of pure love.
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I love how she turned out. The next podcast will break it all down. Thank you for being kiddos / galaers.
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