Something to be said about fear and fearlessness. They both motivate but in very different ways.
The soul of my brush is fearless but the hands are human. They question the motions. All I can do is giv einto the brush. So many paintings painted up inside me, waiting for a canvas to scream into.
You kind of have to fuck the fear off the hand with paint. I know that sounds insane a little or a lot. Nothing ever gained in my life was because it was given. I walked with wieghts in the water to get here. I fucked up my hands to get here. It just meant more to me than sleep or even madness.
The road to fearless painting is marked on caves inside of scared memories. The passion was and is alwasy there. That why I say “always making”. I make in my sleep , in conversations and even while I eat.
I always find my words in these podcasts. I’m so quiet in a lot of life. I love to paint in my head rather than slow down and be a part of everything. I must look crazy to most people but it makes me happy. I figure the idea is to find what makes you so happy.
I hope this finds you well and the photos are from this week in my studio. I loved this week’s end.
There is the power in the universe that grabs you. It is not like arms but more like solar fingers. You are a part of it and it you. The paint feels like a slow whisper of all the places the fingers stop to play the piano. I think that it is all part of a long dance that started before you and anything related to you and will end long after you. This all feels like a journey on the map of a placemat in a pancake house.